Mama Grizzlies

NACEY PELOSI, HAD A GREAT IDEA WHEN SHE SAID ” DRAIN THE SWAMP”BUT!!!!!!! NANCEY.P COULDNT DRAIN THE SWAMP. SHE NEVER COULD !! BUT!!!! I KNOW WHO CAN DRAIN THE SWAMP! ” WE THE PLL NEED TO DRAIN THE SWAMP” (source)

I don’t want to jump to any conclusions, but I think this person would like a swamp to be drained.

Just gonna follow you along and hear what you have to say about all the fairy tales going on in the White House Castle of lies and deception. There is the Pied Piper, the Emperor With No Clothes, and Pinochio, whose nose grows longer each day with floppy donkey ears to match. Thanks so much girl! (source)

Rahm likes to take advantage of a crisis, but to the liberals, Sarah speaks and creates a crisis..”come into my parlor” the spider said to the fly and Sarah baited her hook and sat back and waits to see what will bite…that liberal press will go bananas, the WH will over react, and then blame Bush. Go Sarah…enjoy your fishing and the peace you find there. (source)

The spider spoke with “idle, silly, flattering words“. Not a bad analogy there, Palin-fan.

Time for some wordplay from the Palin-ites:

Sarah,
The next time Obama says that the Repubs drove the bus into the ditch and He,Reed and Pelosi just got it back on the road YOU say….”Yeah…..but the driver never got a driver’s license and he’s about to crash the bus into that tree in the middle of the road” (source)

Why is there a tree in the middle of the road, again? No time to question, moving on:

So I just heard Obama with the car metaphor again…This time he says if you want to go Forward put it in D…..backward you put it in R (very funny) how about this “Democrats are driving us alright, into Disaster with their Dangerous policies. I prefer we Reverse course and Return to Ronald Reagan Responsibility! (source)

Riotous.

A short spelling lesson : The last four letters in American……….I Can The last four letters in Republican…….I Can The last four letters in Democrats………Rats End of lesson. Test to follow in November. Remember, November is to be set aside as rodent extermination month!!!!! (source)

It’s no surprise to me that ‘Republican’ anagrams to ‘Caliber Pun’.

Do you love Rock music? Are you sick and tired of all the left wing pansy “rockers” out there today? Support Milktoast Intolerant! What they say about Obama, Barney Frank, and Olberman in their song “Sunday School” is AWESOME!!! (NOT for kids) (source)

So I took a listen to Sunday School (lyrics). It’s… quite something. Truly better than the pansy rock that’s out there right now, and definitely promotes a solid conservative agenda. I think.

Actually, I have no clue what the hell the song is trying to say, but it would be excellent if Palin picked it up as her campaign theme.

wat r we doin bashing GWbush n Mcain they r famly n wil listen when we reason with them. John has not broken rank 2 suport any of d socialist agenda of this admin. there r times for bein d maverick but these r not the days. famly hav their differences and the libs want 2 c us fight so they can win. after d primries let’s al get behind d GOP candidate, better us than a lib. let’s hang 2gather r we wil hang apart. (source)

Conservative Battle Cry: Cast eyes upon our mighty stand, all ye who worship big government’s hand. Without Founder’s wisdom your feet are like clay, good Citizens through elections will see that you pay. Like the confident Giant that David did smite, your arrogance has brought you condemned to this fight. People of virtue, good sense in their name, have risen to defeat your misguided reign. – © 2010 by Phil Harris www.citizenphil.com (source)

Can’t have a good conservative battle cry without a healthy dose of Biblical imagery, of course.

It’s interesting how so many conservative women like Sara and Bauchman have a physical beauty that reflects their morals, values and Christian beliefs….and then there is the opposition -Pelosi, Kagan and crew. Wow how wierd is that? (source)

Weird. Totally weird. Totally weird that two random conservative women that you chose are more physically attractive than two random liberal women. Clearly there could be no other explanation than that their righteous morals are casting a beatific glow on their angelic faces. I’m assuming that whenever you see an ugly woman you give the police a tip… clearly she’s up to no good.

Also, Bachmann? That’s your best runner-up for the Republican Beauty Contest?

Hey Sarah! I have been following you and this last election closely in which was in total support of you! Question 1… Why did the stock market crash at the beggining of elections??? Seems like a total setup when Democrats in Congress where responsible for it! How can the stock market collaspe within 1 month of election if it wasn’t planned. Seems a little fishy in “Ak” terms ofcourse! Question 2… Why does most of this stimulus package money take major effect on the next election? Question 3…Are Democrats buying votes from the American people? (source)

I appreciate your questions, I think I can help with some answers.

Answer 1: It would have happened sooner, but Bush took the key that unlocks the room that has the “Crash Stock Market” button in it, and then it took him awhile to find it once they emailed him to have him send it back (it was in his other pants).

Answer 2: Once DADT is repealed and the military is 95% gay (and the remaining 5% liars), there will be a lot of ex-soldiers looking for work, and the stimulus package will help them out. The timing is purely coincidental.

Answer 3: A common misconception. It would be impossible for Democrats to buy votes from Americans, because a Real American would never vote Democrat, nor would he take a handout from anyone (his hands are too busy pulling himself up by his own bootstraps). Democrats are buying votes in bulk from Amazon, who outsources the actual voting using Mechanical Turk.

BREAKING NEWS – Senate passes Socialist Financial Reform Legislation!!! Liberals, didn’t you hurt the Banks and Wall Street enough when Clinton’s policies caused the housing markets to crash? You say, in between hits of your hashish pipe, but Joe the banks are robbing us blind. Whaaa!!! So what!!! Remember “trickle down”? I am sure that after a while it will trickle back down far enough to reach even NPR listening bottom feeders. And no more confusing fine print!!! That is where we make our money idiots!!! If its not broke why fix it? This bill is causing unemployment also. Because of it I will have to lay off my driver, Alberto and cancel my plans to remodel one of my families lake houses. Thanks Nobama!! (source)

It’s possible I’m stupid, but if I’m reading this correctly then my takeaway should be that it’s okay for banks to rob us blind with their confusing fine print, because that’s how they make their money and trickle down economics will take care of it all anyway. Maybe I’m not sophisticated enough to parse the multi-faceted sarcasm in this one, or maybe I’ve been bottom feeding too much hashish while listening to NPR. Maybe both.

Update: It has been pointed out to me that I have probably not tuned my sarcasm detectors appropriately to detect applications of Poe’s Law (see also: goatherders, from the same author). I shall endeavor to remain more vigilant.